lost

i feel like someone blindfolded me, took me in a plane, drove me in a car, and left me stranded in an unknown territory with nothing familiar. i look around trying to find my way back without a clue as to where to start. i ask for help but each person advises differently; the ultimate decision to make is up to me. do i want to figure out the direction i'm headed? but where am i to go? should i return home? if so, when should i get there; is the journey back part of what's in store for my life? is there a specific path to take? will one wrong turn change my fate?

i remember going to school when i was little. everything was stable and almost routine. i could always count on coming home after school, finding myself a snack, and, not so reliable but, doing my homework like a good grl. but then, winter/spring break rolls around and it's vacation time. i would go out and have a blast traveling and visiting different places experiencing the world. then boom, when i get back, i see everything in a different light. i face reality and adjust back. i stop to think whether things changed. no, i did. i forgot what it was like to be here. i forgot where i was going and how to get there. i forgot where i was.

then, i find myself again.