a good day with a blind spot

"what they don't tell you"

have i become paranoid after watching seasons of spy tv shows after being sick in bed for the past few days?  are we supposed to question things beyond what we see?  will issues like these also bring up those terms of controversy that lack concrete answers when questioned - faith, trust, reality?

what is real anyways? the matrix asks you.  but i ask you, why is it that sometimes we are not able to know everything? is it a need-to-know basis? test of loyalty? encouragement to seek out the truth?

when you ask, people seem to only paint you a pretty picture.

how was childbirth?
oh everything went smoothly, i have a beautiful baby :D

how was your backpacking trip?
oh really adventurous! got to see everything amazing :D

how were the pyramids in egypt?
oh extraordinary! def a wonder of the world :D

after time and maturity, and well, i havent made these discoveries, but i found the answers that, in reality, it is painful as hell, living in subpar conditions is a travel choice sometimes not for the weary, and, as i newly learned, the place stinks of camel feces.

but then i stop to think for a moment.

i stare at the pictures each with a tiny speck of dirt. i brush it off casually. i cant wait to have these beautiful experiences for myself! yes, perhaps i, too, am a crusader, seeking out the truth of my own life.

or, i just really wish i could be a kickass spy.

inspiration: alexandra udinov